And when I thought I was in europe

I got snagged my some "police" last night, because I was super wasted.
When he grabbed my camera, I immediately just did what he said and showed him my passport.
"Oi drunky, Americans should be careful out" and he let me stumble back with the drunk buddies I was with.

Motherfucker had no idea what due process was though, because he said i can request a copy of the "ticket" in 6 months, and blah blah blah.

Went to a Malaysian restaurant with a buddy, ate a pepper so hot my throat started to swell up, and had to piss soo bad on the tube back that I almost flipping lost it.

I travelled London again today

But this time, I walked around a lot more.
I saw some local galleries,
and I saw the British museum.
I spent most of the day photographing people,
and I am very comfortable with the tube system now.

Yesterday I fell asleep around 5:30, and while in my bed,
some asshole russian (romanian?) douche literally woke me up,
asked me to buy cigarettes (I said no) then asked me what my '' deal'' was.
When I said that I was obviously sleeping, he said to give him two pounds.
I said no and he smacked my arm and left - I have no idea what the hell his ''deal'' was, but obviously I locked the door.

London 1

Because yesterday was mostly spent in the airport and hostile,
Today led me to an original Dali painting - my favorite one,
And I saw what over 100,000,000 sunflower seeds looks like.

But my back is sore so I'll see more tomorrow.

New plan

I got out of Dublin, and I flew in to heathrow.
But why?
Now im stuck here until the 26th, and then its paris - south africa.
But who knows if that is even going to happen?
Still no card reader - so this post will not get an image.


Sorry.

Ill make up for it when I get back.

Stranded

Im in Dublin Ireland, because AA flight 98 couldnt land in LOndon because oif snow.
Everyone here is super friendly, and the food, beer, atmosphere is very nice.
I really miss my sister, our plans to be in africa seem to have been fucked just a little more than we could have hoped.

This picture isnt mine, but hey - I dont have a way to upload any... Foolish me.

Im headed off soon

To Madagascar and Mozambique I go,
Gonna spend the break with my sister,
its going to be dope.

I cant wait to see what I am going to see,
And Since there is no way for us to communicate,
I will miss you,
I will be thinking about you,
And I'll see you next year.a

Last night

Was awesome,
and then shitty - but not because anything went wrong,
because people were sad.

I pissed my name in the snow, many people saw - it was dope haha

I've been sick all day

But that's okay, because I have gotten some things achieved today.
I got my mom at the airport and we ate earlier, I missed the hell out her.
I hope it keeps snowing.
The balls were a gift from my parents,
I hope you rebound quick Capt. Bad, you took one hell of a nasty fall. I'll be thinking about you.

My momma is coming to visit tomorrow

And that's good news!
I miss the hell out of my family - Alaska, California, Africa, Florida, Virginia, Texas - We're a very spread bunch.
All across the world, it makes any excuse to see them awesome.

And the promise of real food is a real plus.

Well its melting out

And melting snow means the ground looks disgusting,
no reason to look down anymore.

Im really excited - only 7 more days and I'm going to be on my way to Africa.

Lots of wasted time

And so many questions.
Why was the lady at the health center such a bitch? "We don't help people who dont know what's wrong with them."
What the fuck is her job then?
And why do we have an entire drawer filled with knives, when all I need is a fork.

Getting to be that time of the year

And like the holiday time, a lot of cheer is to be had.
Sometimes, people are too eager for it - but whatever, at least its always worth it in the end.

You just have to believe that the holidays make the rest of the year better.

It snowed a lot today

I decided to spend sunday sitting on my ass, because the last few nights have been a little rough.

I scraped some snow off of the driveway, but about half way through I just gave up because what I had already done needed another go at it.

2nd Quarter, Elements of Fine Art Photography

Christine Shank, my fine art professor, has given our class the task of documenting our surroundings and posting what we see on our blogs.

So for at least the next 11 weeks, I will be posting at least an image every day, showing you what I feel is important, interesting, depressing, uplifting, or whatever.

My first post is my self portrait, which I will not describe to you - but if you have feedback just comment me. This blog is open for interpretation.

As a foot note, I would like to say that most every old post doesn't matter any more, and it's not worth your time to read them.

changes

Lots of things have changed lately, a lot of which i might as well not pour out onto a blog.

I will just have to show you all later, I will have to post images of my life as soon as i know how to capture what i have been feeling.

Some crazy shit has happened, a lot of things i am not proud of..... and a lot of things that I hope will be fixed soon.

I hope you'll come back to me.

because im changing, and taking everything one day at a time.

Summer Thus Far

Speedy Shnail.

So hey, I got home from rochester and nothing had changed.

All of my bandmates were into drugs and such, although i guess worse off, and it seemed like Alaska really wasn't moving.

All of my buddies who worked at kaladis, my associates connected with the said " Log Haus" were actually going somewhere - to my surprise, they had all become much more united, it seemed as though they had grown more, and they all felt stronger. Not just as individuals, but as a team of sorts.

I'm Proud of every one of them. But when I got back to my immersion into the midnight sun lifestyle, I noticed that something was wrong with a couple of my friends, leading into the realization that I had befriended a traitor some years ago.

I don't want to name names, but someone who I had defended for years against police, my best friends, and even my own family had turned out to be a scumbag and piece of trash, not worth my time or the time of any of the people on this earth.

I also started missing Allison more and more every day, because I am so used to spending all of my time with her. If only she could come visit me sooner - Although she will come to stay with me for 11 days starting August 1 :)

I love that girl.

I was building a deck at my buddy ( and employer) Steve's house, which I had also helped reconstruct, with the help of his son-in-law and also good friend Alan. With the help of another son-in-law and previous employer Kosta (Costa maybe? Fuck thats a cool name either way) we spent every other day from memorial day weekend until the middle of june digging, drilling, and working our asses off to build a gigantic deck. I put in the last design too, so I;m pretty stoked on it.

Then some time in late june I flew to naknek to work in a cannery known as Leader Creek - so called number 1, this place was a shit hole and I hated every minute of being there. I met some cool people, and I did my thing, but I have a feeling the relationships I made there dont settle for shit in their minds by now. We were supposed to be cutting fish for 16 hours a day but I only worked 5 hours in the two weeks I was there. I was really good at cutting fish, keeping up with all of the foreigners who had been there for years, but it made my wrist hurt.

There were only two phones, no cell service, and no internet. If I ever missed Allison before, it was nothing compared to this. All I ever think about when I do any work - deck included_ is think of how much I just want to spend my time with her, and that maybe I can talk to her for a couple of minutes when I am done. All of the work I am doing is for her anyway if you think about it, because who else am I going to spend my money on? The two phones sucked and she could barely hear me, so I decided we had a static scrambled romance and that became the theme of the place.

I also plan to write a song about that place, named after a Tanzanian man who was named - check it - Innocent Bash. The coolest fucking name ever!

Anyway, last day there was the last day of free time (allegedly) before we had constant work. One last "hoo-rah" of partying, and I ended up getting a minor in consumption and breaking my right leg. I was fucked, fired, and sent home. I forgot to mention that I brought my favorite 35mm camera, a Nikon FM1, and 30 rolls of 400 and 800 speed film, only to find out that no pictures came out because the shutter was busted. total waste of fucking time, I would rather have just stayed home. It wasn't even worth the experience or stories that I got from it. Seriously, I am very pissed off about it, not to mention I have to pay for my gear and my plane ticket there, and cant even work because my leg is in half.

They said it was just sprained in naknek when they did some x-rays, but they speak for themselves when you see the huge gap between where the bone broke. So after I got it checked in anchorage, I had surgery the next day. 7 screws and a shiny plate. 20 staples too.

I really missed Allison at this point, let me tell you....

So I have been on my ass for the last 3 weeks waiting to be healed. I have been working a little bit at a local fish processing plant (go figure) because my friend Tyler is awesome and I am lucky that her mom owns the company.

I haven't been able to do much photography. which fucking blows, because of the obvious reasons, but hopefully I will get to soon. I am doing an ad for Carls Jr., and its going to be in all of the Alaska restaurants for a new product - I am pretty stoked about that.

Back In Action

Sorry guys, I definitely was gone for a long time, let me refresh you on whats been going on lately.
It is a new quarter, things are going swell, although it is already week 8 and shits starting to pile up.
I shot the new energy Jazz ensemble about week 2 and finally got it all ready for print and delivery



Photo arts 3 recently competed in an allegory-based photo assignment to take a shot like that of a famous allegorical painting, and to turn it contemporary.
I made my own rendition of Goya's "Saturn Devouring His Child."



....Needless to say, it is on display as one of the winning pieces.
I only regret how salty that intestine was. Gross.

I bought a house with my family's support, and I know have my very own residence.
My best friends Austin, Ceaser, Dylan, and Myles are all living with me there. It is awesome, and I feel like I have the world in my hands.



I have spent the last few weeks spending time with my Girlfriend Allison at shows in Buffalo, and went to Easter brunch with her family. We've been having a fucking blast, she is so amazing, and we always have stories to tell. She gets to come visit in Anchorage this summer, I can't wait to show her what 22 hours of sunlight is like, and how to catch a fish.



I have been shooting a lot lately, also i have had way too many assignment and ridiculous topics to write about.
I am hoping to make a website soon, and It will be much more interactive and updated more frequently, I just need help with programming.

Oh well.

Time really just flies when you're with people that you love.


I honestly don't want to leave everyone for so long, 3 months just seems like forever.


I wish my friends back home were in better contact.

More Pictures

I need to add more of my life, because I need you to understand more about me.

TBA

Something so beautiful, something so unique that you're afraid to speak, almost scared enough to breathe on it.

I dont know where to go from here, I will elaborate later. But to tide some of you over, here are pictures that I need to put up for peace of mind.

This is my brother Michael. He's always been there for me, even when I was too fucked up to understand it.

This is my dog Sammy. I raised him from birth.

This is Dixie, Sammy's mom. She had a stroke and can't see, or hear very well.

This is the Alaskan sky during winter. The sun dies early every night.

Christmas 2009, my sister is in Africa so we talk to her on the phone. I miss you Anna.

This is Will, he is one of the closest friends I think I can ever have.

More Pictures

I need to add more of my life, because I need you to understand more about me.

This is Ronny, my drummer. He thinks he's black.

This is Jeff my guitar player. He is a true romantic. Ronny and him are brothers to me.

This is Jared. So many fucked up things have happened in his life, I respect him for who he really is.

This is Autumn. We go way back. She wants to be an artist.

This is Allison. I don't know how to describe how much I feel for her.

Response to Borrowed Dogs

"Portraiture is performance."

Richard Avedon wrote this piece called Borrowed Dogs in 2002, and it is an essay that begins with a story of his family when he was younger. Richard tells a story about how when he was younger, in every family portrait, his parents wanted to make the family look more "whole" and they decided the best was was by borrowing someones dog, and putting him in the picture as - as though it was their own. He said in one family album he looked through, over only one year, his family was posed with 11 different dogs. The family pictures were there because his parents thought people would think the Avedon family would have dogs, so he should throw that in there.

I really found this essay interesting, the concept of portraits being staged is very obvious, but I have never really thought about how every aspect in a photograph can be completely de-personalized, how each and every detail can be placed there on purpose, and how you can show a person without actually showing a person. I have always tried to let my subjects act themselves, I have staged things in portraiture, you kind of have to, but every bit of it can be changed, and every part of it can be shaped a certain way. Richard Avedon describes that there are really 3 types of results that photographing someone can give you; A. the story is better than the photograph and your results won't necessarily be that good, B. you use the subject outright and might get good results but you won't have any real emotion touching the subject, and nothing connecting him to reality, and C. you can have a collaboration, or a unity, and your subject will be comfortable, trust you, and more importantly, act natural. The last one obviously gets the best results, and while option C is the hardest one to achieve, it comes with an extensive ability on the photographer's part to connect with people, open up, and make themselves trustworthy.

What I got most from this writing are some very interesting ideas, "Photography is a sad art. It's sad but it remains." Richard used to shoot death a lot when he was a younger photographer, although he says it's too close to his heart to comfortably get away with shooting. I feel as though this is a very true statement, that photography is sad although ever-present.

"Leap, don't look." What I learned From Kareem Black

The other day, my photo class went on a journey across campus to see a photographer I had never heard of before, someone that I figured I didn't give half a shit about, and for reasons that, like many things that happen in school, I would probably never get a decent answer to. Once crammed into the crowded lecture hall, and after we all took our seats, a short introduction was given by our program chair and a younger-looking man stood up to the podium. This was an interesting moment, as the man who introduced himself as Kareem Black, the guy we had all gathered to see and hear speak, said he had nothing planned to say, and that he only had one thing to ask of us. He asked for a picture so that he could give it to his mother back home.

I was very interested in the kinds of things Kareem was saying after his initial walk to the mic. To be honest and not to sound cliche or anything, the comment about Kareem's mother made me miss my own mother, so I was ready to listen to anything he told me. As I was writing down some of the normal things he was saying; you know, the kind of things every photographer, every professor, and every art-douche out there says, "Connections connections connections." I noticed something real about the man talking to us. In a story he told about a shoot he was doing of Spike Lee, he said "Spike Lee was a dick. I thought I could charm him---- but it didn't work."He wasn't acting, he was not at all trying to inspire us to study harder, and he was not afraid to throw out a "Shit." Or a "Fuck I forgot what I was talking about." The man was speaking from real experience, from his heart.

Kareem has shot an obscene amount of advertising campaigns, and he has worked with a lot of the biggest names in the industry. He started in 1999 when there was a .com boom and more money than you could ever need, especially for photographers, and he has had an extreme amount of experience with people on every side of the industry. So when he started talking about standing out and being on top, I listened very closely. He went to say that one of the defining moments in his career was when a company wanted him to shoot for their magazine, and when they asked if he knew any other photographers (of which he knew many) he said no and took all of the business. Kareem's personal experience shows that it truly is a cut-throat world in the field of photography, and you cannot always be Mr. Nice Guy.

"Everything is the photographers fault. If the makeup artist fucks up, it's the photographer's fault. If the model tears everyone a new asshole, it's the photographer's fault. If you don't get a good image, it's the photographer's fault; and, that's the way life goes." This statement Kareem said made me realize finally, well, exactly what he said. The kind of life I want to pursue, the career that I am trying to attain, and the kind of life that I am reaching toward is based on my ability to work well with people, to have a professional stance on photography and myself, and it is based on the fact that I can't miss let any opportunity pass me by. Because when I am in the studio, and I have my own crew of makeup artists, wardrobe experts, lighting crews, and I have to take a photograph of Spike Lee, my career could immediately end from just one slip, one miss, one bad comment, or one smug remark. Literally, a photographer could have his career slip away just from letting himself lose focus for just one moment.

Kareem said a lot of things I have heard before, but no one has ever given me as much motivation to be better than he has, because if I want to be anyone, I need to realize that being the best in the business is, as he put it "A combination of luck, skill, and balls.... And you have to leap before you look." Or you probably won't ever make it.

My family Reflection

My Family reflection

Over the break I had for christmas and the new-years season, I travelled back to my hometown of Anchorage Alaska. While I was there I photographed my family, and my friends, and saw what life had given them since I had left for college. Time has gone by enough that I assumed my friends were going to have completed goals or pursue some of their dreams, but I do not have the right to say that any of them have made any actual progress towards making their lives better. My best friends seemed like they were in limbo, not where they were, and not yet rock bottom, but just floating through time and space, just slowly degrading, and waiting to pick what to do with themselves. It seems like without any kind of guidance or anyone helping decide for the, some people just cannot complete life on their own, they cannot make any real choices on their own or say what is good or bad for them on their own. As happy as I was to see my friends, it was too much to stay very long, and I left a few days early just to get out. I noticed how much I changed while I had been gone, and how little everyone else had.

Although I cannot give very much praise to my friends, my close family being together was a great thing, as my brother lives in southern California as an engineer, and my grandmother lives in southern florida where she does old people things. My family was extremely happy to see me, noticed how much I had grown, saw my new talents, and was very interested in everything I had to say. Although they were so intent on getting every last detail about my life, I had my own thoughts about their lives, and what they had ben doing since last time we had been together. I quickly found out that my mother and father were in the exact place they had left off when I left. Their relationship seemed a little bit improved, but when I walked into the house I noticed that everything looked the same, I was greeted the same, and we ate the same food as before.

As the holidays rolled on, I noticed a lot more cheer than the christmases before, and I felt like there was much more spirit associated with the actual coming together of christmas, which was a new thing for me to experience. As the days wen on though, it seemed like my family was back to their normal lives, when the excitement of me being there left then it was time to move back into the empty-nest life. And it was peaceful.